Thursday, March 09, 2006


London >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

We’ve gone INTERNATIONAL, BABY!! I think people are starting to figure out my game, so I thought I’d step it up a notch and go “across the pond!” Plus, I’ve never been to Europe before. The weather reminds me of home. And the accents are hilairous!

Even getting food is fun here. I ordered “spotted dick” just to see if they would really serve it. THEY DID! I couldn’t eat it, though. Gross. I’ll have to order “bangers and mash” before I leave. I don’t even know what that is.

Check it out! I saw London’s famous giant dildo! ROFFL! I remember this from one of the new Dr. Who's I torrented. I love the funny little clown cars they drive here. If someone snuck a Land Rover or a Hummer over here, it would be like a monster truck show. With funnier accents.

I’ve asked a few people if they know where I can buy some albatross. No one seems to get it. Where’s the national pride?

I actually had a weird thing happen while I was checking out a pub. A British guy asked me who I was rooting for in the World Cup, 'cause I think he was looking to mess with tourists. He was probably expecting me to say the US, but I told him in the states, soccer is considered ghey. He got mad and they asked me to leave. I think they felt emasculated. Pussies.

Stopped by Buckingham Palace. That was pretty cool. If anyone is keeping a log of things that don’t work on the guards, heres some to add:

- Asking if they have Prince Albert in a can
- Offering them a crunchy frog
- Peanut Butter Jelly Time
- Page 3 of the Sun (Why don’t our newspapers have this? Greatest nation my ass.)

The NamcoStation here is 'bloody wicked!' It’s a lot like GameWorks back home, but with bumper cars and gambling and probably hookers
if you look hard enough. Rocked my socks.

Went to another palace to hide the Super Happy Monkey Award I made for myself. For those of you just tuning in, these are awards they hand out at Dogpile. I don’t know what the monkey or the racecar is about, but I like it. I didn’t get one during my time, but I nabbed some of the materials when I left. Made myself a couple. Guess I probably should have stashed this in Miami, at the Monkey Jungle. That would have been better. Man, I always get good ideas too late.

Why the hell is there a Washington Monument in England? I guess everyone was kinda British back then.



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